Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Embracing the Art of Mindful Consumption

 


Embarking on a journey of conscious buying, I decided a few years ago to forego buying clothes and embrace hand-me-downs from friends and family instead. Many of you have asked me how I manage to resist temptations and why I choose this path. Let me share the reasons behind my choice and the empowerment I find in having made it.

A decade ago, my journey towards embracing handlooms and sustainable living began, starting with my wardrobe. I made a conscious decision to limit my collection to only ten dresses at a time, reserving them for work or special occasions. New clothes were purchased annually to replace worn-out or ill-fitting ones, while the rest were either donated or disposed of. And that’s when I met Eve Ceccarily, a young French animation director with a unique approach to fashion. She would wear discarded clothes from friends who were moving, avoiding brands associated with sweatshops in developing countries. She chose to wear those as the cost of ethically-made brands was beyond her means then. Our encounters sparked a realization of the importance of conscious fashion choices and the impact they have on our lives and the world around us. And it dawned on me that if I were to talk about building sustainable ecosystems and making conscious buying choices, I had to walk the talk.

In 2017, I made a conscious decision to stop purchasing dresses and instead turned to my sister-in-law for her unused kurtas and tops. Fortunately, she comes from a family where sharing clothes and wearing hand-me-downs from older siblings was a common practice, reminiscent of the 80s and 90s. This cultural background made it easier for her to pass on her clothes to me. However, I've observed that many of my friends and relatives feel hesitant or embarrassed to give away their clothes, fearing it might offend the recipients. It's a mindset that can be challenging to overcome. Although now I have a few friends too who have generously shared whenever they upgrade their wardrobes.

During this period, I underwent a significant shift in my wardrobe choices, particularly towards wearing handloom sarees as my work attire. This change coincided with my venture into the handloom saree business, prompting me to invest in these exquisite pieces despite their higher cost compared to machine-made alternatives. I became increasingly mindful of the sourcing and sellers of these sarees, seeking out sustainable and ethical options. This transition also led me to embrace the beauty of cottons and khadi, gradually moving away from shiny silks with zari. Even my occasion wear sarees transformed into elegant cottons and tussar silks. This evolution necessitated a newfound prudence in my shopping habits. It also helped that I became part of saree groups where women generously shared their sarees with one another, which meant access to many more sarees.

With my commitment to sustainable choices extending beyond clothing, it became effortless to adopt a similar mindset for bags, shoes, and accessories. I prioritize investing in ethical brands, using their products for years without the urge to constantly switch or impress others.


Saturday, November 21, 2020

Laali Laaboni Sarees from Dastakar

Our latest creation in Dastakar - Parijat on Maheshwari Silk Cotton Saree.
 
please do visit https://www.dastakar.com for exclusive custom orders.








Monday, December 12, 2016

(h)airy head!

when i created a list of my life's purpose and goals about a couple of years ago, it went on to fill a full excel sheet. and i remember a friend asking if i intended to fulfill all of those in this lifetime! he'd be surprised to know that since then, i have added a few more to that list. one of the new additions were donating organs. i have pledged all my organs with mohan foundation. while going through the organs i could donate, i found out about donating hair for cancer patients. and i did have enough hair to donate (minimum requirement being 15" length). and when i checked the ngos that accept hair donation, i came across protect your mom and their facebook page @HairForHopeIndia. decided about eight months ago that i would donate my hair. and then thought of going bald. there was this feeling that i needed to take that journey - experiencing the loss of hair. although i cannot experience the trauma and pain that one who suffers from the illness had to suffer. it was the least i could do. i have also thought of the increasing possibility that i could be afflicted with the same condition, given that my immediate family has had too many women who have suffered. and i still remember my aunt, who suffered from breast cancer initially and had to undergo a series of chemos. she had lost all her hair and used to wear a scarf. at her eldest son's wedding, a joyous occasion, she would shy away from the cameras because of her lack of hair. and i also remember another aunt who survived breast cancer, being more scared of losing her hair to chemo than of the disease itself!
for the last eight months, most of my close relatives-friends have heard me talk about going bald. couldn't do it till now for all the weddings that happened in the family.

this morning, finally, i kept my appointment for the head shave. and i will admit, that the few weeks i spent reaching that decision were scary. for almost as long as i can remember, i have been known for my long hair. although for two years, in my 11th and 12th class, when i fell ill and had to cut my hair short; nobody, including myself remembers it. it's always been - 'the madrasan with those two long plaits' in school, and then 'the madrasan with the long hair'. my hair became my identity. and like i said to a cousin, she was a constant companion and solace and a wall to hide behind from the world. so it was almost like letting go of that identity. in some sense it is also a metaphorical journey, of being comfortable with who i am within and not identifying myself just with the physical persona.

since then there's been calls and messages pouring in. it's been overwhelming. i hadn't honestly imagined the kind of response one picture on social media by the husband has generated. while most of it has been encouraging, there have been a couple of extreme reactions too. and it goes more like - ok, we understand that you are donating. but do you have to go bald? you could have just cut it short. the irony here is that if i had said i had a votive at tirupati, there wouldn't have been another question beyond that. so essentially, it's ok to offer to god, but why give it to fellow human beings.

although i have managed to maintain a polite silence, since this is my space to vent, i would also like to say - how does it matter to anyone besides me what i do with my hair? why is it that people get offended that i do not colour my hair or i have gone bald. why take it personally when it does not affect anyone else besides me? i would rather celebrate life in all it's glory, including growing old or being sick, than hide behind a little bit of dye or give in to the pain.

and as i send my hair off to the ngo, i send it with the prayer that may it bring solace and strength to someone who has already got the challenge of fighting a painful illness.

Friday, September 09, 2016

the business of beauty

it's been a long time since i have watched tv for more than an hour. at home i usually get to 'hear' it - the daily soaps that amma watches or the news and business channels that my husband prefers. last evening i got a chance to watch the tv - alone. flipping through the channels, i watched one episode of house, snippets of some american political drama, some food channels and finally ended up with the old hindi movie, caravan.

throughout the three odd hours that i watched these programmes, i must have spent over an hour on watching ads. specifically ads that sold products that would apparently make one look younger, radiant, fair, beautiful. all those ads got me thinking. and i was appalled to realise that we spend so much of our time, energy, money and efforts in 'looking' and even 'smelling' beautiful! from a horde of soaps, shampoos, toothpaste, face creams, lotions, make up products to perfumes, deos, clothes, shoes, bags... the list is exhaustive.

the economics of the beauty business is also just mind-boggling. i googled it a bit and research reports projects revenues at a whopping $265-300 billion in 2017. and this is just the known brands we are talking about. consider all the home remedies that mothers and grand mothers pass on. it's almost as if our entire lives are taken over by looking, feeling and smelling good.

and that got me thinking - why are we so obsessed with 'looking' beautiful? why not with 'being' beautiful? if beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and in our hearts, then why this obsession with fair and lovely skin? if we spent the same amount of time and efforts to make ourselves beautiful inside, won't this world be a more beautiful place. our entire concept of beauty is so skewed towards just the external aspects that we completely forget that which actually makes a difference - kindness, gentleness, gratitude, love.

all our notions of beauty also means that there's a huge population out there that doesn't fit in with the acceptable norms. and that also deals such a heavy blow on their confidence. imagine, we live in a society that shows a woman or, these days, even a man with darker skin as lacking in confidence to fulfill their dreams. it takes a tube of skin whitener and its application to give them that confidence. does that mean people who are not fair don't get to their goals? how weird is that?

growing up, i remember my friends and their mothers advising on the benefits of applying turmeric and and various other concoction for the face and hair every day. instead why aren't we taught to practice kindness and gratitude every day?

and if practice makes a person perfect, then it's time to look at practicing different set of ideas and principles of beauty.

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Movies that leave you hopeful and humming... 'Life, bring it on!'

There's something infinitely fulfilling in watching a well made movie. Like a good book, it wraps you up within its story and makes you a part of the narrative. Sometimes it manages to tug at some long-forgotten memory or remind you of a part of life that otherwise might have lost its charm forever. Some other times it might lend a perspective to life that was probably beyond our immediate sight. Whatever be the case, it never fails to delight, thrill, entertain, enlighten or inspire.

Just as two recently watched Malayalam movies have inspired me to write this. These are Anjali Menon's 'Manjadikuru' (The lucky red seeds) released in 2012; and Alphonse Putharen's 'Premam' (Love) released earlier this year.




Neither of them are a new release but both are movies, I believe, would be true to its form in any age, year or time. Both the movies have done well at the box office; 'Premam' being the biggest Malayalam grosser ever at over Rs. 63 crores. Oh and that also speaks a lot about the maturity and sensibilities of the average Malayalam cine-viewer.

Both the movies are part of the new-wave cinema that's been revolutionising Malayalam cine industry. Neither of the movies have an extra-ordinary tale to tell. Yet, it's in the way the directors have sought to showcase their stories that make them such winners.

'Manjadikuru' is a little over a fortnight long story of 10-year old Vicky living in Dubai, who visits his maternal home at the death of his grandfather in a remote village in Kerala. Set in the early eighties, the film is entirely told from Vicky's point of view. What is charming about the movie is the innocent portrayal of a childhood that we can all identify with. And never throughout the narrative does it lose that child's perspective of a world unfolding before its eyes, whether it is in the tragic state of the child servant 'Roja' and the endearing friendship among the kids, or in the depiction of the love-hate relationships between the adults - the four sisters and the two brothers of the family. Equally challenging for the senior actors like Rahman, Murali, Jagathi Sreekumar, Bindu, Urvashi, Praveena and the others would have been to be able to play just a character in what is essentially a story about a child's world. The movie leaves the viewer with a nostalgia for the innocence of a lost childhood and yet leaves one with a happy feeling about it - for at least having experienced it once.

'Premam' is a light, bubbly, effervescent rom-com that follows George's experience with love through his life. From a pre-degree crush that goes unrequited, to a love in college that ends tragically, to finally a proposal that ends in marriage in his 30s. Like I said, nothing great about the story. But what makes this movie brilliant is the format and the little moments among George and his two best friends as well as all the other characters who grow up with George. This is Alphonse Putharen's second movie and he uses every format available to him as a story teller - the locations, characters, actors, music, and even text on the visuals. One remarkable technique he uses is to show seemingly obscure visuals with important conversations happening in the background that gives us the feeling of eavesdropping into George and his friends' plotting and planning his romantic conquests. Add to this some beautiful music that blends in and out of the dialogues and doesn't let the story stop for the 3-4 minutes that it plays, stellar performances with absolute sense of timing for every witty line and action and you have a winner in hand. In spite of each tragic end that George's romantic forays lead to, we still feel hopeful and optimistic and that is what the movie, I felt, was all about. That in the end it will all turn out well.

These are movies that tell someone else's story but manages to draw us into them and makes it our story!